 While the rest of the world was living on in glorious daylight and blissful ignorance of my decimating torment, I wrestled with hard truths. I came face to face with a life that seemed to be out of the Creator’s control. After ten years of abuse and torment I was flayed open and left with nothing but an ashen mouth and scar tissue. And that was when the Spirit of God came and comforted me.  You see He couldn’t fill the void if I kept trying to fill it myself with myself by myself. His timing is perfect. He absolutely will bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. And when you don’t feel this, you just have to offer it up as a sacrifice of praise. He waited over a decade to break through the leaden curtain that kept me from His love and His favor. And when He did break through He showed me that He had held me, my pain, AND even the curtain all in His loving embrace. And now He has brought me a helper who holds Him high above all other things, and it is for that reason that she is able to encourage, admonish, sharpen, and uphold me in a gentle spirit of Love. She lives and breathes a bravery that can only come from having lived through Hell and been restored in her Father’s love. And she is now being used by God to comfort me. There aren’t enough years in the world that can keep the ashes from becoming beauty or the scars from healing into a new strength. I am coming face to face with a life that is entirely and unshakably in the Creator’s control. And while the world is living through a decimating torment and wrestling with hard truths, I am living on in glorious daylight and blissful eternal truth. 
0 Comments
 My children you asked me for a story, and I will tell you my least favorite one, because gray days are made for sad stories, and sad stories for gray days. They make all the other days brighter. There once was a tree that was loved by most everyone. They knew him by his fruit, his dark green leaves, and his wide-spreading branches. His roots went deep because they were nourished and tended to when they were very young. He was alive and growing, and the wood that made up his heart was strong and filled with life. And yet he knew that there was more love and joy available than could be had alone, so when a tree house came along the tree saw a vision of a future—a future where children could climb to higher heights and spend more time enjoying his shade, his fruit, and the life that was deep in side his heart. The tree house was also made of wood, but it was not living. It had been at one time, but now it was dried out and cut into straight lines. This allowed it to be measurable and useful, but it also made it rigid.  The tree said to the tree house, “Come and live in me and be in my branches! I will hold you high, and keep you safe. My branches are strong and my roots run deep. Together we can bring more joy than we could on our own.” The tree house said, “Ah, that sounds delightful! But there are only certain ways I can go. You see I am straight and measured and planned. Tree, you are not made for a tree house, but you can bend and move to fit my lines, and then you will be good enough.” And so the tree house with all of its strength and rigidity locked itself into the good and willing tree. For a while, children, it was very good. The tree held the tree house high and proud and shaded it with his dark green leaves, and the tree house held fast to the tree connecting his many branches to one another. But when the storms came the tree—who used to sway so beautifully, dancing with the wind—swayed so little because the tree house was holding everything together.  “Stop! STOP!” yelled the tree house. “I didn’t know this would happen! This is too much!” The tree was surprised. “Did you not know that storms would come, and blow, and move things about? But do not worry! You’ve locked yourself into me, and my roots grow deep. You are safe.” But the tree house did not like the moving and the swaying, bending and dancing, or even the laughing of the leaves in the raging of the winds. It refused to trust the tree even when the tree did everything it could to keep the tree house from moving. He shed all his dark green leaves, and he stopped bearing his fruit, and everyone who loved him stopped knowing him by his fruit, and only knew him as the tree with the tree house in it. And with the storms came floods, but the tree held the tree house aloft. He pleaded with the tree house, “I cannot continue to carry all of your weight! Though my roots are strong and run deep, the very ground beneath us has become soft and they are drowning. Please, you need to grow or surely we will both perish!”  But as I said, dear children, the wood in the tree house was dead and rigid and unbending. The tree continued to hold the tree house aloft, and he persevered in minimizing the storms as much as he could. He desperately needed to grow, but the tree house would not let him. It had been measured and cut to its own original plan of a perfect shape. The tree, because he was living and soft, grew around the tree house, taking on its shape and form. He could not grow wide and was not allowed to grow tall. The tree house cut deep into the heart of the tree, piercing his bark. The tree became infested with fire ants who ate of his flesh and stole of his life. Carnivorous spiders roamed free, feasting on the ants and leaving palaces of webs that scared all the children away. Webs grew thick, nails rusted, and the tree grew increasingly like the tree house: rigid, measured, and scared. Until, finally the tree house said, “These storms keep coming, and you move too much. Your growth has split my planks and overwhelmed my lines. You let ants and spiders in to eat at your heart and infest my flesh. You have ruined yourself so that no one enjoys you any more. Especially me.” And it left.  And while the tree was bruised and cut and had his heart-flesh exposed by the removal of the tree house, he was once again free to grow. So he did. While he wept for the loss of his friend, with whom he’d weathered many storms, he grew bark back over his wounds. The fire ants now had nowhere to hide, and the spiders had nothing to feast on. His dark green leaves sprouted afresh and the people once again knew him by his fruit, and they were happy. And the tree finally understood the heights of the love and joy for which he so long ago had a vision.  What’s that my children? What became of the tree house? In truth we do not know. But living things grow and get stronger and weather many storms. And though it is wounded and gnarled, those scars are covered over and become the strongest part of that tree. The dead, rigid, measured wood can only return to be a part of the earth and feed everything that is living.
I told you it was not my favorite story, but it is a good story. The dead feed the living, and the living grow and give glory to God, even on a gray and cloudy day.  ‘Twas the week before finals and all through the school
All the students were panicked and losing their cool. The deadlines flew by because no one would heed The dates in the syllabi no one would read. The children were buried nose-deep in their studies While visions of failure plagued them and their buddies. But I with my grade book and papers and tests Had just settled in to put grading to rest. When out in the halls there arose such a clatter I rose from my desk to see what was the matter. Apparently someone who thought they were leaving Had just failed their Math class, and now they were grieving. Turning back to my office I started to think, “It’s still really early, but I need a drink.” When what in my over-filled inbox appeared, But mountains of emails all smelling of fear. With sobs and excuses my ears they anoint. I knew in a moment they must want more points. More rapid than eagles their stories they came, But I’ve heard them before so they all sound the same: “I can’t buy the textbook.” “I’m not feeling well.” “If I fail this class now my Mom will raise Hell.” “I didn’t think you really meant what you said.” “If my coach finds out that I’m failing, I’m dead!” So for hours I answer them all with one line: “Why didn’t you do what I’d asked the first time?” And now they want me to come up with a plan To get them a good grade while holding their hand‽ - And then as I sat there I heard by the floor The sound of soft weeping just outside my door. As I swung the door open I saw a limp pile Of a student who smelled like he’d been there a while. He was dressed all in sweats from his head to his socks, This ensemble completed by smelly blue Crocs. A folder and notebooks splayed out like some joke. In his backpack his laptop was seeming to smoke. His eyes—oh, how blood-shot. His skin—oh how sallow! It seemed to me even his breathing was shallow. His weak little mouth was drawn down in a frown. He looked like an alley rat someone had drowned. I could see there were Cheetos still stuck in his teeth. A cap held his greasy mop safe underneath. How long had he been there? How long had he waited? My normal frustration was quickly abated. I helped him up ‘til he leaned on my bookshelf, And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself. A wink of my eye and nod of my head Soon gave him to know he had nothing to dread. I told him, “Hey, look, not to sound like a jerk, But you didn’t turn in nearly half your homework. And I know that this doesn’t sound all that exciting, But you have seven days to do 12 weeks of writing.” He sprang to his feet, and he ran out the door On his way to start typing a novel, I’m sure. And I heard him exclaim as he slipped out of sight, “I WILL FINISH IT ALL!...once I’ve beaten Fortnite.”  As many of you know, this has been a crazy year for me. Last Spring I got shingles, then our home flooded in August, and I've spent the bulk of this year working on rebuilding my home. It's crazy to go to work full time as a college professor with all the curricular and extracurricular demands, then go home (not my home, mind you) and work for hours on putting together spreadsheets for insurance companies, and scheduling visits with field adjusters for insurance companies, and visits with contractors for insurance companies... Photography |
 |  |
In the meantime, we have compiled a small list of things we know we lost and will want to replace into an Amazon wishlist titled GROTHOLSON LOST TO REPLACE (link here: http://a.co/cfY5BTU) This list will certainly grow over the next few weeks as we slowly move back in and better realize what we lost or need. If you have never used an Amazon wish list before, you actually do NOT need to purchase from the list in order to mark it as purchased. Under the button "add to cart" is a link that says "buying this gift elsewhere?" Click that and you can mark the item as purchased! Our Amazon list also does not include things like clothes, bookshelves, furniture, linens, rugs or some technology. It's not that we don't need those things, they just weren't very Amazon-able and we also don't quite need a table and chairs yet and have no where to store it! Contact us directly if you desire to help with some of those items.
Thank you for your help in all of this! You have truly been the Hands and Feet of God to us!
Thank you for your help in all of this! You have truly been the Hands and Feet of God to us!
Super short, quick update! We are so excited to be in the repair and remodel stage of our Hurricane Harvey saga! Thanks to some family members and friends, we were able to hang sheetrock 2 weeks ago. That gave us a HUGE boost up to move the process along. We have hired help to finish prepping the floors and installing some smaller items like a tub and toilets. We just approved a quote to get the taping and mudding completed next week! Other subcontractors were quoting up to 12 weeks out just for THAT job alone! We have someone working on kitchen cabinets while the drywall and tile work is finished. Lord willing, we can have a lot of that taken care of by Thanksgiving.
Truly, it was the Lord’s hand in orchestrating all of this. We don’t even have a response from our insurance company, yet we have been able to get a fast and sudden jump on the process! Workers in the area are so overwhelmed and swamped that many don’t even respond to our requests for quotes. We thank God for our helpers that got us moving on drywall and then the referrals to get us quotes and installation work done.
Truly, it was the Lord’s hand in orchestrating all of this. We don’t even have a response from our insurance company, yet we have been able to get a fast and sudden jump on the process! Workers in the area are so overwhelmed and swamped that many don’t even respond to our requests for quotes. We thank God for our helpers that got us moving on drywall and then the referrals to get us quotes and installation work done.
The plan now is to continue living with our wonderful, generous host family until we can rough it in our own home. We will continue remodeling and at this pace, we may have it rebuilt before the insurance company even gets back to us!
Thank you to everyone who sacrificed financially to help us get back on our feet! We know many other people have been asking how to help and we had said “maybe later” because we didn’t really know the entire scope of our needs 2 months ago. Well, considering that things are moving along somewhat quickly, we are thinking about using the seasonal sales and Black Friday sales to get a jump on reaccumulating some of our necessary earthly treasures. In response to your requests to help, we will be publishing an Amazon wishlist a few days before Thanksgiving. The best part about an Amazon wishlist is that you DON’T HAVE TO BUY IT ON AMAZON to be able to mark the item as “purchased”. You can see a sweet deal in a local store and buy it there, but then go mark the item as “purchased” on their wishlist so there aren’t duplicates.
Thank you to everyone who sacrificed financially to help us get back on our feet! We know many other people have been asking how to help and we had said “maybe later” because we didn’t really know the entire scope of our needs 2 months ago. Well, considering that things are moving along somewhat quickly, we are thinking about using the seasonal sales and Black Friday sales to get a jump on reaccumulating some of our necessary earthly treasures. In response to your requests to help, we will be publishing an Amazon wishlist a few days before Thanksgiving. The best part about an Amazon wishlist is that you DON’T HAVE TO BUY IT ON AMAZON to be able to mark the item as “purchased”. You can see a sweet deal in a local store and buy it there, but then go mark the item as “purchased” on their wishlist so there aren’t duplicates.
This is definitely the fun silver-lining to the tragedy of losing our home. The anticipation of seeing our little home remodeled is exciting! Thank you for being here with us and for following along in our journey! May we each be encouraged as we see God victoriously meet our needs in ways beyond our capability. It’s really cool!!
Read the newest Oprah interview with the GrothOlsons from their temporary home on Hoveden Drive. Interview is loosely based on Oprah’s interview with then-First Lady Michelle Obama. (http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/michelle-obamas-oprah-interview-o-magazine-cover-with-obama)
Our GrothOlson Family on the surprises of life in the Hoveden House ("If you want pie, there's pie! If something breaks, it's fixed. In an hour")...the rules they’ve laid down for Benjamin and Samuel ("I want the kids to be treated like children, not little princes")...and how they hope to use "one of the worst disasters in American history" to help transform their lives.
On the second floor of the Hoveden House, the Game Room—part of the GrothOlson Family's semi-private residence—offers a stunning view of the property’s pool. The pergola stretches into the heavens. The Weber Grill sits above the glassy water of the Reflecting Pool. In the distance, you can see the neighbor’s fence, where the dog’s attention was focused as birds and squirrels gathered to witness an event many had thought would never happen. I felt the weight of history, and I understood what they mean when they say, as she often does, "This is not about us."
The GrothOlsons packed up their belongings in Raintree Village and headed for Nottingham Country in early September so 8-year-old Benjamin and almost-5-year-old Samuel could get started at their homeschool co-op. When I returned to Katy/Houston after the hurricane, I spent the weekend thinking, "I wonder what the GrothOlsons are doing now?" Later, when I was looking for some cough syrup in my medicine cabinet, I suddenly thought, "GrothOlsons don’t even have cough syrup!" For the GrothOlson Family, it's a whole new reality. As we talk, they tell me how they're adjusting—and what they’re planning to do in their new role.
— Oprah
OPRAH: How are you guys doing?
GINNY: I feel like a first-time parent with a colicky newborn again. Yeah, that.
OPRAH: I literally have no idea what that’s like.
Well, it’s difficult, right? And exhausting. I remember being so desperate for help yet so sick of asking for it. Or those moments of trying to decide if I’d rather shower, eat or sleep during the baby’s ambiguously long or short nap time. I feel gross from not showering yet totally not motivated to shower for another day of dealing with mold, laundry, meals, appointments, sorting, cleaning and organizing.
OPRAH: Have you not been able to achieve your best self?
JESSE: Just this week, I went a full 2 days with having my fingernails clipped on only one hand. I mean, we are under a lot of emotional, mental and financial stress but we don’t feel defeated.
OPRAH: So do you consider yourselves “Flood Victims” then?
GINNY: Good question. We haven’t looked at it that way. We call ourselves “Flood People” or “Dirty Flood People” when we want to be funny. DFP’s to be exact. We actually feel so blessed and cared for and loved on. In some ways we even feel lucky. We can’t remember a time God hasn’t met our needs in the past, so we have no reason to fear that He won’t somehow follow through this time around.
I hope people feel and know how much God is using them. I had someone buy me lip balm the other day and it was amazing! She didn’t even know that I needed it and had lost mine. God puts these things on people’s hearts.
JESSE: Our burden is too big to carry alone and every piece others lift for us--whether it be in prayer, financial support, practical daily living, listening, or whatever else they do – accumulates to a big old hug and easing of our load.
OPRAH: I love hugs! So what are your “normal” days like now?
JESSE: Even without flood stuff to deal with, this time of year always takes a huge toll on our family. I am back teaching for the semester and have long days and nights plus a long commute. I am often gone for 3 meals per day, and Ginny and the kids get lonely and a bit rattled at times. But we also know that, like a baby, the phases and stages come and go. Unfortunately, most stages usually only end through the passing of time. We just have to wait this out and we have no clue how long the wait will be.
OPRAH: So, Jesse, you have felt overwhelmed at all in this?
JESSE: Oprah, are you asking if I cry? Heck yes I cry! I’m tired, so I cry a lot. And Ginny cries when she’s tired or hungry, too. There are a trillion details that keep us busy non-stop. Plus throw in daily life with work, students, and young children. But are we making progress? Yes, we’ve made quite a bit of progress thanks to help! We praise God for His continued provision in all areas. When it seems like we can meet our own needs, it’s easy to forget how needy we really are. When we are given undeniable needs, we get to see firsthand how God Himself steps in and notices and cares. That makes us lucky!
OPRAH: When will you be able to get back in your house?
GINNY: We have zero clue how long that takes. All we know is that current rumors from other flooded folks suggest not getting back into our home until at least after Easter and more likely next Summer.
JESSE: Obviously, we want to go home as soon as we can, but we don’t want to rush any part of the process that could lead to consequences further down the road. We want to do this right and steward all our resources well.
OPRAH: How long will you be living where you are?
GINNY: Again, Oprah, we have no idea. Literally zero. Currently we are waiting for our FEMA inspection to see if they will provide assistance for temporary housing or if what they provide will even be reasonable or available based on how many families here are in the same situation. In the meantime, we get along well with the family hosting us right now, and our boys are loving the dog and swimming pool and upstairs level.
OPRAH: OK, so you guys have flood insurance, right? Doesn’t that just take care of everything for you?
GINNY: Well, it certainly helps! That’s for sure. However, there are 2 deductibles, one for the structural damage and one for home contents. They are each $5000, so a total of $10,000, plus the cost difference of whatever else they decide to not cover and the depreciation of the replacement costs. We also lost one of our vehicles and the return value on that was definitely not enough to cover a new vehicle. I think we got back about $2700.
JESSE: We actually just had our flood insurance adjuster come out to the house today. He seemed supportive and encouraged us to fairly claim all of our losses. He also reminded us that it was nasty, contaminated water that flooded into our home versus cleaner water from a broken pipe or something. This was septic, swamp, garbage water filled with bacteria and molds and literally everything from outside and inside people’s home. Because of that, we lost a lot, but we also will be claiming a lot.
OPRAH: I imagine this will take a long time to sort through with insurance. I usually get to jump ahead in a VIP line or something. Does your insurance company have anything like that?
JESSE: Yeah, not so much. Now that someone has come out, we can submit everything we are claiming as a loss. In true tedious insurance form, we must photo document every single item we are claiming as a loss and then provide cost estimates on every item as well as a timeframe for when the item was purchased. Yes, every single book or toy or even food item needs it’s own line item entry, a photo, a description and a replacement cost value. We are working to get this submitted ASAP. We have so many people to thank for helping us get the spreadsheet mostly ready. Once we submit it, it will take about 3 weeks for the initial decision and then we can go from there.
GINNY: I’m guessing there will be a fair amount of going back and forth on cost values and proof of damage, etc. But this was a huge, unprecedented national disaster so there really is no “normal” time frame for what we can expect.
OPRAH: What do you need right now? I mean, how can other people who are not me help?
JESSE: We have had so many generous gifts and donations these past 3 weeks. It’s been incredible! Praise God we have our deductible saved up now! Besides that, our most immediate need at this point is to purchase a second vehicle.
OPRAH: So the money is for a vehicle or for your house?
GINNY: We are trying to be prudent and set aside a realistic amount of money to cover the rebuilding and refurnishing because we know that people rarely come out ahead on insurance claims. We are now pushing immediate funds towards a vehicle.
JESSE: People have been asking us to add to our Amazon wish list, too. We totally will! However, we don’t want to be impulsive and would rather wait until October or so until we know if we will be needing things for temporary housing or to cover other losses the insurance won’t cover. Or maybe we will end up doing more of a gift registry style thing early next year when we get close to moving back in.
GINNY: We also might end up needing a ton of new clothes for all of us. We are working very hard to get as much clean as possible, but even some of the “dry” clothes have mildew and mold that won’t come out. The washing process is long and slow despite so many families helping us with that huge chore. We hope to have a better idea of additional clothing loss in the next week or two. In the meantime, honestly I am the one that lost the most clothes to full water saturation. I had all of my jeans and cardigans and shoes on the bottom rack in my closet. Most of my shirts and shorts are still TBD.
JESSE: But they'll definitely be cargo shorts!
OPRAH: So really all you want is a lot of money?
GINNY: No! There are scads of other ways to help us out too! Some amazing families have brought us meals or watched the kids. We have someone housing the cats for us. Other families are doing laundry. Someone else loaned us a vehicle. Restaurant gift cards, grocery cards, groceries, toiletries. I’ve even found it helpful to have someone just follow me around all day and do whatever I need, like reorganize something or move trash somewhere.
JESSE: Yeah, we’ve had so many people step in to help with daily chores. And don’t forget how truly important all of the prayer support is. We are only able to carry this huge load because we aren’t carrying it alone.
On the second floor of the Hoveden House, the Game Room—part of the GrothOlson Family's semi-private residence—offers a stunning view of the property’s pool. The pergola stretches into the heavens. The Weber Grill sits above the glassy water of the Reflecting Pool. In the distance, you can see the neighbor’s fence, where the dog’s attention was focused as birds and squirrels gathered to witness an event many had thought would never happen. I felt the weight of history, and I understood what they mean when they say, as she often does, "This is not about us."
The GrothOlsons packed up their belongings in Raintree Village and headed for Nottingham Country in early September so 8-year-old Benjamin and almost-5-year-old Samuel could get started at their homeschool co-op. When I returned to Katy/Houston after the hurricane, I spent the weekend thinking, "I wonder what the GrothOlsons are doing now?" Later, when I was looking for some cough syrup in my medicine cabinet, I suddenly thought, "GrothOlsons don’t even have cough syrup!" For the GrothOlson Family, it's a whole new reality. As we talk, they tell me how they're adjusting—and what they’re planning to do in their new role.
— Oprah
OPRAH: How are you guys doing?
GINNY: I feel like a first-time parent with a colicky newborn again. Yeah, that.
OPRAH: I literally have no idea what that’s like.
Well, it’s difficult, right? And exhausting. I remember being so desperate for help yet so sick of asking for it. Or those moments of trying to decide if I’d rather shower, eat or sleep during the baby’s ambiguously long or short nap time. I feel gross from not showering yet totally not motivated to shower for another day of dealing with mold, laundry, meals, appointments, sorting, cleaning and organizing.
OPRAH: Have you not been able to achieve your best self?
JESSE: Just this week, I went a full 2 days with having my fingernails clipped on only one hand. I mean, we are under a lot of emotional, mental and financial stress but we don’t feel defeated.
OPRAH: So do you consider yourselves “Flood Victims” then?
GINNY: Good question. We haven’t looked at it that way. We call ourselves “Flood People” or “Dirty Flood People” when we want to be funny. DFP’s to be exact. We actually feel so blessed and cared for and loved on. In some ways we even feel lucky. We can’t remember a time God hasn’t met our needs in the past, so we have no reason to fear that He won’t somehow follow through this time around.
I hope people feel and know how much God is using them. I had someone buy me lip balm the other day and it was amazing! She didn’t even know that I needed it and had lost mine. God puts these things on people’s hearts.
JESSE: Our burden is too big to carry alone and every piece others lift for us--whether it be in prayer, financial support, practical daily living, listening, or whatever else they do – accumulates to a big old hug and easing of our load.
OPRAH: I love hugs! So what are your “normal” days like now?
JESSE: Even without flood stuff to deal with, this time of year always takes a huge toll on our family. I am back teaching for the semester and have long days and nights plus a long commute. I am often gone for 3 meals per day, and Ginny and the kids get lonely and a bit rattled at times. But we also know that, like a baby, the phases and stages come and go. Unfortunately, most stages usually only end through the passing of time. We just have to wait this out and we have no clue how long the wait will be.
OPRAH: So, Jesse, you have felt overwhelmed at all in this?
JESSE: Oprah, are you asking if I cry? Heck yes I cry! I’m tired, so I cry a lot. And Ginny cries when she’s tired or hungry, too. There are a trillion details that keep us busy non-stop. Plus throw in daily life with work, students, and young children. But are we making progress? Yes, we’ve made quite a bit of progress thanks to help! We praise God for His continued provision in all areas. When it seems like we can meet our own needs, it’s easy to forget how needy we really are. When we are given undeniable needs, we get to see firsthand how God Himself steps in and notices and cares. That makes us lucky!
OPRAH: When will you be able to get back in your house?
GINNY: We have zero clue how long that takes. All we know is that current rumors from other flooded folks suggest not getting back into our home until at least after Easter and more likely next Summer.
JESSE: Obviously, we want to go home as soon as we can, but we don’t want to rush any part of the process that could lead to consequences further down the road. We want to do this right and steward all our resources well.
OPRAH: How long will you be living where you are?
GINNY: Again, Oprah, we have no idea. Literally zero. Currently we are waiting for our FEMA inspection to see if they will provide assistance for temporary housing or if what they provide will even be reasonable or available based on how many families here are in the same situation. In the meantime, we get along well with the family hosting us right now, and our boys are loving the dog and swimming pool and upstairs level.
OPRAH: OK, so you guys have flood insurance, right? Doesn’t that just take care of everything for you?
GINNY: Well, it certainly helps! That’s for sure. However, there are 2 deductibles, one for the structural damage and one for home contents. They are each $5000, so a total of $10,000, plus the cost difference of whatever else they decide to not cover and the depreciation of the replacement costs. We also lost one of our vehicles and the return value on that was definitely not enough to cover a new vehicle. I think we got back about $2700.
JESSE: We actually just had our flood insurance adjuster come out to the house today. He seemed supportive and encouraged us to fairly claim all of our losses. He also reminded us that it was nasty, contaminated water that flooded into our home versus cleaner water from a broken pipe or something. This was septic, swamp, garbage water filled with bacteria and molds and literally everything from outside and inside people’s home. Because of that, we lost a lot, but we also will be claiming a lot.
OPRAH: I imagine this will take a long time to sort through with insurance. I usually get to jump ahead in a VIP line or something. Does your insurance company have anything like that?
JESSE: Yeah, not so much. Now that someone has come out, we can submit everything we are claiming as a loss. In true tedious insurance form, we must photo document every single item we are claiming as a loss and then provide cost estimates on every item as well as a timeframe for when the item was purchased. Yes, every single book or toy or even food item needs it’s own line item entry, a photo, a description and a replacement cost value. We are working to get this submitted ASAP. We have so many people to thank for helping us get the spreadsheet mostly ready. Once we submit it, it will take about 3 weeks for the initial decision and then we can go from there.
GINNY: I’m guessing there will be a fair amount of going back and forth on cost values and proof of damage, etc. But this was a huge, unprecedented national disaster so there really is no “normal” time frame for what we can expect.
OPRAH: What do you need right now? I mean, how can other people who are not me help?
JESSE: We have had so many generous gifts and donations these past 3 weeks. It’s been incredible! Praise God we have our deductible saved up now! Besides that, our most immediate need at this point is to purchase a second vehicle.
OPRAH: So the money is for a vehicle or for your house?
GINNY: We are trying to be prudent and set aside a realistic amount of money to cover the rebuilding and refurnishing because we know that people rarely come out ahead on insurance claims. We are now pushing immediate funds towards a vehicle.
JESSE: People have been asking us to add to our Amazon wish list, too. We totally will! However, we don’t want to be impulsive and would rather wait until October or so until we know if we will be needing things for temporary housing or to cover other losses the insurance won’t cover. Or maybe we will end up doing more of a gift registry style thing early next year when we get close to moving back in.
GINNY: We also might end up needing a ton of new clothes for all of us. We are working very hard to get as much clean as possible, but even some of the “dry” clothes have mildew and mold that won’t come out. The washing process is long and slow despite so many families helping us with that huge chore. We hope to have a better idea of additional clothing loss in the next week or two. In the meantime, honestly I am the one that lost the most clothes to full water saturation. I had all of my jeans and cardigans and shoes on the bottom rack in my closet. Most of my shirts and shorts are still TBD.
JESSE: But they'll definitely be cargo shorts!
OPRAH: So really all you want is a lot of money?
GINNY: No! There are scads of other ways to help us out too! Some amazing families have brought us meals or watched the kids. We have someone housing the cats for us. Other families are doing laundry. Someone else loaned us a vehicle. Restaurant gift cards, grocery cards, groceries, toiletries. I’ve even found it helpful to have someone just follow me around all day and do whatever I need, like reorganize something or move trash somewhere.
JESSE: Yeah, we’ve had so many people step in to help with daily chores. And don’t forget how truly important all of the prayer support is. We are only able to carry this huge load because we aren’t carrying it alone.
Let us start by saying that this has been one of the most incredible experiences of our lives—incredibly stressful, incredibly difficult, and incredibly filled with blessing and love. Many people, some we know and some we don’t, have generously given to us, and some are still asking how they can help. We are incredibly grateful and blessed by your love and desire.
We had an unbelievable amount of help that day. It made us feel so loved and cared for in the midst of such great loss. It was so cool to be a part of such a great day! Everything was taken care of for us. God knew what we needed and He sent it. Truly surreal!
We had an unbelievable amount of help that day. It made us feel so loved and cared for in the midst of such great loss. It was so cool to be a part of such a great day! Everything was taken care of for us. God knew what we needed and He sent it. Truly surreal!
Our GoFundMe link says a little about what happened and how our home was one of many to be ruined by Hurricane Harvey. We ended up getting 11-18” of flood water in our single-story home, which amounted to losing about 75% of our home. (At least the attic stayed dry!) Our home flooded on Monday, Aug 27th, and we were able to return and demo it on Saturday, September, 2.
That being said it is also exhausting and overwhelming to consider all that is involved in rebuilding our home and our lives. We aren’t even so concerned with the loss of property or materials, but rather the struggle we know is ahead of us. What we need is long-term support and attention—thoughtful words, notes, and texts; moments of relief and fun; and prayer for strength, energy, and unity. Keep asking how we’re doing. Keep checking.
Many have given through GoFundMe, and many have wanted to avoid losing the percentage they keep. We have established PayPal and Venmo accounts to provide as many options as possible. Others have asked about specific physical needs we may have, and the fact of the matter is we still aren’t entirely sure. We have a very dear friend working through the spreadsheet and photos of everything we’ve lost, and the stuff that we did get to save is spread about to three different friends’ houses. We have been richly blessed in our short-term needs, but we really won’t know what our long-term needs are for a while. That said, there are things that we definitely need as we begin to rebuild, and to that end we have created an Amazon wish list.
There is still a massive financial gap in our lives right now. While we are glad we have flood insurance, we have separate $5,000 deductibles on our house and on its contents, so that means we’ll need to come up with $10,000. We also lost my minivan to flood water, so that’s a $500 deductible, plus whatever the difference will be on the valuation of the vehicle and what we’ll need to buy to replace it. The van that we were in when we evacuated suffered damage to the seal on the (already cracked) windshield, so we will need to pay to have that replaced completely out of pocket. Then to top it all off Ginny was involved in a hit-and-run accident today. She and the kids are fine, and she managed to get a photo of the license plate on the vehicle, so the police are tracking them down. Hopefully they will be able to pay for the damages to our remaining van. Financially, we just straight up need help with the huge load. Any day-to-day needs you help us with also allows us to save towards our deductibles and vehicle costs.
While we qualified for 30 days of hotel assistance, there was only one in our area, which was slammed. We have been incredibly blessed by multiple families who have opened their homes to us. We are still waiting for a decision from FEMA on our eligibility for long-term Housing Assistance until our home is made habitable again.
While we qualified for 30 days of hotel assistance, there was only one in our area, which was slammed. We have been incredibly blessed by multiple families who have opened their homes to us. We are still waiting for a decision from FEMA on our eligibility for long-term Housing Assistance until our home is made habitable again.
So I recently was a director for a short film as part of a speed competition. I had worked on someone else’s team last year as part of the same competition, and this year I spearheaded the effort. My team consisted of a mix of my students and local professionals in the Houston area, and it was pretty much the same team as the year prior but with a lot of extra hands on board.
I’ve directed before, and I’ve done speed competitions before. I teach directing, and I coach students through the same process I went through on this shoot. I often say when I’m teaching that it’s really easy to say something, but it’s another thing altogether to do it. That totally proved true in this case. There were some things I did that were right on, and there were other areas where I definitely let the ball drop. There are some definite principles to directing films that were reinforced for me in this process.
1. Surround yourself with the best. Last year we had a good crew, but it was lean. This year the crew was nearly twice as large as it was last year. I had an AD, a DP, a producer, two AP’s, a Gaffer, an audio technician, an editor, and a sound designer. And my cast was fantastic. I love those people, and I would work with them any day of the week. Everyone was stellar. Everyone. Seriously. It’s hard enough to do what we do, and then in a speed competition you take away the two things that make it possible: time and money. The only reason this thing turned out as good it did was that everyone was top-notch. When problems came up, my crew solved them. When artistic differences were present, they were brought up and discussed. We got what we did because people didn’t bury their artistic opinions. Some people could see this as threatening or discouraging, but I thrived on it. I was constantly having to defend my vision for the story, and that nearly always made it better. Nearly? I’ll talk about that more later.
I’ve directed before, and I’ve done speed competitions before. I teach directing, and I coach students through the same process I went through on this shoot. I often say when I’m teaching that it’s really easy to say something, but it’s another thing altogether to do it. That totally proved true in this case. There were some things I did that were right on, and there were other areas where I definitely let the ball drop. There are some definite principles to directing films that were reinforced for me in this process.
1. Surround yourself with the best. Last year we had a good crew, but it was lean. This year the crew was nearly twice as large as it was last year. I had an AD, a DP, a producer, two AP’s, a Gaffer, an audio technician, an editor, and a sound designer. And my cast was fantastic. I love those people, and I would work with them any day of the week. Everyone was stellar. Everyone. Seriously. It’s hard enough to do what we do, and then in a speed competition you take away the two things that make it possible: time and money. The only reason this thing turned out as good it did was that everyone was top-notch. When problems came up, my crew solved them. When artistic differences were present, they were brought up and discussed. We got what we did because people didn’t bury their artistic opinions. Some people could see this as threatening or discouraging, but I thrived on it. I was constantly having to defend my vision for the story, and that nearly always made it better. Nearly? I’ll talk about that more later.
2. Know what you want. Having to defend your vision makes you refine it, sometimes on the spot. This is especially true when you start your production window by pulling the genre for you film out of a literal hat. It’s easier when you’ve been able to steep yourself in a story or a world for a long time. We also had a few elements that we had to include, but those are minor things. Usually, a Director is having to manage the demands of a producer, and balance that with the artistic input of those under him or her. In this case, I was having to balance what I had in my mind with what all the brilliant people around me had in their minds. Most of my conflict was internal. I would know what I wanted, and then someone would come to me with a great solution or alternative that was brilliant. How does someone make that decision? I think it depends on the situation. I’m supposed to be over the entire story, and from that perspective I should be able to make the decision that fits best into the context of the entire story, which individual artists may not always have. But this is a speed competition with friends, and everyone is invested. Where do I draw the line between friendship and creative control? There were times when I would have liked to have pushed back on a creative element, but either didn’t have a good enough argument to do so without reverting to a “because I’m the director” kind of argument. Friendships don’t thrive on that. I need to find a way of saying, “Listen, I can’t give you a great reason or argument right now, but I just need you to do it this way.” Actually, that sounded kind of good. Maybe I’ll just use that in the future.
3. When problems arise, it’s up to you to decide. This is so true. Here’s where things got tricky for me in this context: We all came together after the draw and came up with the story together. We brainstormed for about three or four hours, and I didn’t leave until we had a basic arc that we could all get behind. Then me and my longtime friend and co-producer hid away in my office until we had a completed script. The benefit to this process is that there are a myriad ideas that get kicked around in a large group like that, so when you hit a roadblock further down the road you have some previously-discussed fallback positions. However, because of the time crunch, It’s almost never a clean transition. There’s also some reason you didn’t go with that option in the first place, so it’s usually not as good as your first choice. Also, not everyone is around the table on set. So sometimes problems with one of your workarounds aren’t brought to light until it’s too late. Ultimately you get/have to make that decision. When the credits roll at the end, it’ll be your name on the stupid thing, so act like it.
4. Preproduction is priceless. I had a phenomenal producer. She came on board months before the production, and I gave her a list of possible locations I would want. (This is not against the rules of the competition.) She did it. She made a spreadsheet and started reaching out to places. So, when we drew our genres, we could tailor the story to the people and places we had. This allowed us to be really creative in creating our story, and raised our production value immensely. In fact, she won an award for “Best Locations.” Is this a completely made-up category? Absolutely. But I’m glad it existed because she totally deserved it.
3. When problems arise, it’s up to you to decide. This is so true. Here’s where things got tricky for me in this context: We all came together after the draw and came up with the story together. We brainstormed for about three or four hours, and I didn’t leave until we had a basic arc that we could all get behind. Then me and my longtime friend and co-producer hid away in my office until we had a completed script. The benefit to this process is that there are a myriad ideas that get kicked around in a large group like that, so when you hit a roadblock further down the road you have some previously-discussed fallback positions. However, because of the time crunch, It’s almost never a clean transition. There’s also some reason you didn’t go with that option in the first place, so it’s usually not as good as your first choice. Also, not everyone is around the table on set. So sometimes problems with one of your workarounds aren’t brought to light until it’s too late. Ultimately you get/have to make that decision. When the credits roll at the end, it’ll be your name on the stupid thing, so act like it.
4. Preproduction is priceless. I had a phenomenal producer. She came on board months before the production, and I gave her a list of possible locations I would want. (This is not against the rules of the competition.) She did it. She made a spreadsheet and started reaching out to places. So, when we drew our genres, we could tailor the story to the people and places we had. This allowed us to be really creative in creating our story, and raised our production value immensely. In fact, she won an award for “Best Locations.” Is this a completely made-up category? Absolutely. But I’m glad it existed because she totally deserved it.
TAlso, I didn’t have a storyboard this year. My poor AD didn’t really have a shooting script or shot list either, so we were kind of having to make it up on the fly. She did a great job of keeping us on target, but I really wish I’d had those things for my own sake. My head got cloudy, and I found I was having a harder time making decisions than I would have liked. Next time…
5. I love directing and I hate it. I love creating collaboratively with competent people, but it definitely comes with the weight of being responsible for the artistic success of a story. The Director is the thermostat of the set. He or she will determine the atmosphere that all these wonderful creative people are working in. Some love to rule with an iron fist, and will take the first opportunity to strike fear into everyone around them. They justify it by saying that at least they got their way. That's not my jam. The other end of that spectrum is the director who is so busy trying to keep everyone around them happy that they don’t push for their vision. This is what Elia Kazan said about some of the first films he directed. “I used to spend most of my time straining to be a nice guy so people would like me.” And as a result, we have the film Sea of Grass. Let me save you the time…don’t watch it. I would feel bad saying that, but so did Kazan. I love being around people, and I love being able to bring out their best, but I often struggle with not being a little more hard-nosed. I need to stay malleable enough to take the good advice of excellent artists, but also I need to have the mettle to stand up for my ideas. I think I ran a pretty good set, but I also wish I’d taken 5 minute breaks throughout the day—told everyone to just go stare at a tree for five minutes. I think we’d have had a better final outcome if I hadn’t pushed so hard. I also wish I’d pushed harder and gotten the shots I really wanted.
6. At the end of the stupid movie, your name is on it. I feel like this has to be my new focal point. I mean, honestly, I need to make films NOT in 48 hours. There's a reason we take time to make art. Films are films, however, and not life. I need to make films, but I need to keep balance in my life. And when I do, I need to be able to know the reason for every beat of the film. And when it gets challenged I need to stay open to suggestion so that I can capitalize on the amazing people around me, but also know when what they are bringing me isn’t right. They work hard, and they get their fulfillment wherever they get it from in their process, but at the end of the day…I’m responsible. I need to work at being able to communicate my vision, and I need to work at fighting for it. This is hard for me to say, but it’s my film, and I’m going to act like it.
5. I love directing and I hate it. I love creating collaboratively with competent people, but it definitely comes with the weight of being responsible for the artistic success of a story. The Director is the thermostat of the set. He or she will determine the atmosphere that all these wonderful creative people are working in. Some love to rule with an iron fist, and will take the first opportunity to strike fear into everyone around them. They justify it by saying that at least they got their way. That's not my jam. The other end of that spectrum is the director who is so busy trying to keep everyone around them happy that they don’t push for their vision. This is what Elia Kazan said about some of the first films he directed. “I used to spend most of my time straining to be a nice guy so people would like me.” And as a result, we have the film Sea of Grass. Let me save you the time…don’t watch it. I would feel bad saying that, but so did Kazan. I love being around people, and I love being able to bring out their best, but I often struggle with not being a little more hard-nosed. I need to stay malleable enough to take the good advice of excellent artists, but also I need to have the mettle to stand up for my ideas. I think I ran a pretty good set, but I also wish I’d taken 5 minute breaks throughout the day—told everyone to just go stare at a tree for five minutes. I think we’d have had a better final outcome if I hadn’t pushed so hard. I also wish I’d pushed harder and gotten the shots I really wanted.
6. At the end of the stupid movie, your name is on it. I feel like this has to be my new focal point. I mean, honestly, I need to make films NOT in 48 hours. There's a reason we take time to make art. Films are films, however, and not life. I need to make films, but I need to keep balance in my life. And when I do, I need to be able to know the reason for every beat of the film. And when it gets challenged I need to stay open to suggestion so that I can capitalize on the amazing people around me, but also know when what they are bringing me isn’t right. They work hard, and they get their fulfillment wherever they get it from in their process, but at the end of the day…I’m responsible. I need to work at being able to communicate my vision, and I need to work at fighting for it. This is hard for me to say, but it’s my film, and I’m going to act like it.
We did really well in the competition, and I am incredibly proud of everyone who poured themselves into it, but I was ultimately disappointed. I know the potential that our story had, and we didn’t quite get it there. It is no one's fault except mine. I think I really feel the weight of the other wonderful people who worked on this that put their trust in me to steer this project to a very successful conclusion. In the end, I had too much story for the limited time allowed by the competition. I have a 10 minute film and I had to get it down to 7 minutes. Also, we did really well the year before, and I was really hoping we could have done better than last year. I loved the experience, but I’m hoping I can spin it out into other products that I’m even more proud of. Steven Spielberg once said, “You shouldn’t dream your film, you should make it.” I will. And I will learn from that too. I’ll still mess up, but I’ll be a better director and it’ll be better than the film before it.
And I hope to continue that cycle for a very long time.
And I hope to continue that cycle for a very long time.
I’ve recently described “film school” to my students as a story incubator. There are incubators for startup businesses, where young entrepreneurs can receive experienced guidance, mature instruction, and even investment in a short-term, intensive season in hopes of kick starting a new company. They are also places where entrepreneurs can get networked in with other entrepreneurs to create economic synergistic magic. I really think that film school is that, but for stories and storytellers. Or it can be. Or it should be.
All you have to do is go to class, learn new stuff, and try it out by telling stories. I sometimes describe it as reading books, proving you read them, and talking about them. That’s it. That’s your one thing. All you have to do is try! Have you tried trying? There’s a whole ‘try’ named after you; it’s, ‘The Ol’ College Try.” You have no job, no mortgage, no families, no responsibilities, no…
WAIT, wait, wait, wait, wait…that’s not entirely true either.
Most students depend on good grades to keep scholarships. And while a letter grade is supposedly an indicator of how well a student has proven mastery of a subject, it usually (largely thanks to No Child Left Behind) is more of an indicator of how well they can game a system or simply parrot instructions. So, we can’t really trust them, but we’ve tied real monies to them, so they actually send students’ blood pressures through the roof. And really, what we’re asking when we assign this industrialized denominator of quality is whether a student was good enough. However, grades are used to prove excellence way more infrequently than they are used to prove that someone, while inadequate, was adequately inadequate. And so they desperately grovel with genuine fear in their eyes when they ask what they need to do to get an “A.”
Who cares? Did you learn the content? Isn’t THAT why you’re here? To learn stuff?
And then MANY of them have jobs. Usually they are crappy jobs that you can have without a diploma, and they have managers that don’t understand what it means to be a full-time student. They lustily dream of the day when all they have is a job instead of a job and school. Some of them get sports scholarships, which is the worst kind of job. It’s a job that, if you’re good enough, pays really well, but it also demands a lot of you. LOTS of time when you’re in season, and only slightly less when you’re out. It demands of your body. I have one student who is fighting major foot problems so that they can keep their scholarship long enough to get through school. That’s something they’ll carry the rest of their lives. Then there are the coaches who demand that the student focus 100% on their sport instead of their studies…at school. I’ll discuss the irony of that with a coach some day. So, they desperately wrangle their academic schedule around their financial needs with fear in their eyes when they come in for advising.
Calm down. We’ll make your schedule work. I know it’s expensive and crazy stressful, but we’ll walk through it with you.
And then a lot of my students do have families. One has three full-grown kids, and is coming back to school now that the nest is empty. One has 5 kids and a stay-at-home spouse. Two are single moms, with full time jobs and very little outside help. A few even start their families while in school. The rest, even if they don’t have their own nuclear families, have their immediate families, and they can be the worst of all. SOOOO many parents will hold their children under their thumbs. “You’ll take this major, or else…” “You’ll live with us, or else...” “You can’t have your own iTunes account, or else…” I’ve had a student be told by their parents that they either need to go into business or politics. That’s it. Right, because the only way to ever make money is to literally have the word, “Business,” on your diploma. With parents like that it’d be easier to just have a mortgage. These are fully-grown adults under the law. I think if we started treating them like adults, they’d start acting like adults. They desperately juggle the needs of their professors, their studies, their peers, and the families that they love so dearly—you know, the entire reason they’re doing this in the first place!
I get it. Do what you have to do to keep all the plates spinning.
Which leads to them really putting themselves through the ringer. Not a lot of sleep is had. There are similar levels caffeine dependence here as there are on most Hollywood sets. Then you force them to buy a meal plan at a place that serves primarily carbohydrates, and squeeze them until they stress eat their way into the Freshman Fifteen. Some students need to be told to get off their lazy asses and do something, but even more need to be told to take it easy. Just do a few things well. Figure out what’s more important for you to learn, and focus your “A” energy on that. C’s get degrees. Congrats, you graduated top of your bell-curve.
AND THEY SOMEHOW SURVIVED!
But then they lose money. I get it. I’m sorry. Just do what you can.
So, while I dream of the day when film school can be a story incubator, I don’t think that day is here yet. I get excited when, with each successive year, students are asking better questions. They care more about how what they’re learning will carry them into their futures. They’re rejecting disconnected, standardized, groupthink philosophies of education, and are more interested in making connections and receiving personalized education. As a society, we still rest on institutions instead of individuals, but kids are starting to question that.
If we treated college more like a trade school, but included art, philosophy, and history it’d be more like what is actually needed to stir the minds of the future culture makers. Maybe if it was a flat fee, no gimmicks, and only happened at night, we could support not just the recent high school grads, but we could also help out those who are in need of a mid-career shift. We could help those individuals running the high school media program they were put in charge of with no training or experience. Maybe if people cared less about accreditation (which is as inane as grades, but 10 times more arbitrary) and more about actually being able to prove mastery in a field, then we could have learning institutions that equipped people to be life-long learners instead of life-long debtors. We’d be the story incubator I dream of. If students discipled under a professor instead of filled a required seat number, then our stories would get better. If our stories go better, then our culture would become more holistic. And if that were the case, we’d have fewer sociopolitical rifts. We’d be engaged in wiser conversation. We’d have better collaboration throughout society. We’d have fewer freakin’ film remakes of older TV shows!!!!
And maybe that’ll be possible some day. But until then, I’m going to do what I can to try to carve that out of the current system. So, being a film student isn’t easy, but I understand. I will push you to be the best, and I will match your effort stride for stride.
Mostly because I want to be told better stories.
Author
Jesse is a professor at Houston Baptist University. He also directs the school's theatre club, does handyman projects on the side, and produces features and short films. A Pastor's kid/missionary kid, his view of life is at the very least unique. And hopefully helpful.
Otherwise, why blog?
Archives
May 2020
February 2020
December 2018
October 2018
November 2017
September 2017
July 2017
May 2017
March 2015
October 2014
RSS Feed
