While the rest of the world was living on in glorious daylight and blissful ignorance of my decimating torment, I wrestled with hard truths. I came face to face with a life that seemed to be out of the Creator’s control. After ten years of abuse and torment I was flayed open and left with nothing but an ashen mouth and scar tissue. And that was when the Spirit of God came and comforted me.
You see He couldn’t fill the void if I kept trying to fill it myself with myself by myself. His timing is perfect. He absolutely will bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. And when you don’t feel this, you just have to offer it up as a sacrifice of praise.
He waited over a decade to break through the leaden curtain that kept me from His love and His favor. And when He did break through He showed me that He had held me, my pain, AND even the curtain all in His loving embrace. And now He has brought me a helper who holds Him high above all other things, and it is for that reason that she is able to encourage, admonish, sharpen, and uphold me in a gentle spirit of Love. She lives and breathes a bravery that can only come from having lived through Hell and been restored in her Father’s love.
And she is now being used by God to comfort me. There aren’t enough years in the world that can keep the ashes from becoming beauty or the scars from healing into a new strength. I am coming face to face with a life that is entirely and unshakably in the Creator’s control. And while the world is living through a decimating torment and wrestling with hard truths, I am living on in glorious daylight and blissful eternal truth.
Jesse is a professor at Houston Baptist University. He also directs the school's theatre club, does handyman projects on the side, and produces features and short films. A Pastor's kid/missionary kid, his view of life is at the very least unique. And hopefully helpful.